Saturday, 7 Jun 2008

Return to Normal and the One-Year Worries

It has been a year and a half since Bug (aka Little Guy) was diagnosed with food allergies. It has been scary, stressful and frustrating (largely thanks to certain relatives who were uncooperative/unhelpful during the food trials). He’s added asthma to his bag of tricks, so that’s nerve-wracking as well. Next week Bug has follow-up skin tests to see how his allergies are progressing. I am hoping to remove at least the egg allergies and possibly the soy allergy. The loss of those two allergies would feel like a “return to normal” for me. It’s not, really, since avoiding peanuts and most tree nuts isn’t a walk in the park, but nuts aren’t central to many recipes. Of course, we’d still be toting the twinject, benadryl and a high level of anxiety around with us, but cooking would be simpler at least.

Lady Bug (aka Little Lady) is turning one next week. Pretty crazy! Because of the family history of allergies, she’ll be tested at a year whether we think she has allergies or not. I wouldn’t be surprised since she has had some eczema and some spit-uppy issues. I have to admit that I’m getting a bit nervous.  I’m trying not to worry, but I can’t help at least a little concern. If she has the same allergies as Bug, it would be sad and frustrating, but it would probably be just as easy to be consistent. I know that the odds are slim that she’ll have exactly the same allergies, so I worry that she’ll have a milk allergy (Bug actually has a mild one, but drinks the stuff anyway) or wheat or something else that will push me over the edge.

Here’s the thing… I adore my kids. I want them to be happy and healthy. I want them the feel special, but NORMAL. I don’t want them to feel left out at birthday parties and special events. But behind all of that concern for the kids, is also just a bit of annoyance for me as well. It’s stupid, I know, but I miss walnuts like nobody’s business. Hubby eats peanut butter at work, but I’m home with the kids, so nuts are out (except for occasional desserts at a Girls’ Night Out). It’s tedious reading labels and exhausting trying to make sure we’re attending activities that are safe for my son. Our families have been incredibly supportive overall, but there are particular family members who I always feel are battling me on everything. I guess I just feel like it’s inappropriate to battle me for control over food when my kid has potentially life-threatening allergies. That’s just me. So, there’s the selfish side of being a food allergy mom!


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