Saying No and Setting Boundaries

Posted on Sunday 27 September 2009

I recently canceled my trip to the Type-A Mom conference in Asheville, NC. I was really looking forward to it as a way to re-connect with some of the fabulous ladies I met a BlogHer. I booked it while still on a BlogHer high, but over the next few weeks I was asked to speak at another conference and to do some workshops out of town and my fall schedule started to look a bit overwhelming.

I started trying to justify my trip to Type-A as a networking opportunity, but in the back of my mind a little guilty voice was telling me that I really didn’t NEED to go. So, as Big Guy started to look a bit more anxious about how long I was going to be away this fall, I considered canceling the trip. Canceling my flight (and re-depositing my frequent flier miles) wasn’t cheap and I knew I’d probably have to just eat the registration fee. I finally accepted the trip as a special treat for myself and let it go.

As the conference grew closer, I started to feel more stressed about the money, the time, and the travel. And then, I got a sign. As I was confirming my flight less than a week before my departure, I realized I had booked it into the wrong airport. This is unheard of, by the way. I have traveled literally around the world and have never booked a flight into the wrong airport. Perhaps my subconscious was sending me a message. Or maybe my kids have finally destroyed my mind, but whatever… I scrambled to find a ride from the airport, as my anxiety grew and grew.

Finally, when my entire family came down with colds (and Bug was on a nebulizer for asthma) and I was trying to put together some important articles for my site on About.com, I gave in and canceled the trip. It was hard to do, even though I had no doubt that it was the best choice for me. I was sad to miss my new friends and to miss out on what I knew would be a good experience, but I also knew that something had to give.

Instead of heading to Asheville (or to NY, where there was another conference I wanted to attend), I rented a beautiful house on a lake and took some time for a writer’s retreat. It was less expensive than either trip and meant that I was close enough to home if anyone needed me. I also had time to get some work done and reflect on where I am in my life.

I have been watching my fellow bloggers get caught up in frenzy of opportunities. Trips and speaking engagements and freebies and this and that. It’s seductive to be courted like that by PR companies, and it’s hard to say no and possibly miss a fantastic experience, but I have had a wake-up call this week. I don’t want to become a media whore (I’m sure this is going to draw some interesting search engine traffic to my site!) or a pseudo-blog celebrity. I don’t want all of my opportunities to come from being a mom who blogs a lot. Instead, I want to be recognized for my writing and speaking talent, for my creativity and for my other areas of expertise. The good news is that some of that has already started to happen. Now I just need to nurture it.

I’m not sure what this means for me going forward, but I want to make sure that I remember what my long-term goals are and to make sure that I hold on to those opportunities that move me in the right direction. And I need to let go of those that don’t contribute to my future dreams or that aren’t right for me “right now.”

In the meantime, I did miss all of my fantastic ladies at Type A Mom and I hope to see you all soon!

Christy @ 12:38 pm
Filed under: Me
Things Are Looking Up

Posted on Saturday 5 September 2009

Yeah, yeah. I’m overdue for a post here. Then again, this is my spot to do whatever I want, right?

I’m here in good spirits. First of all, an overdue link to an article I recently wrote for the 360PR Trendletter on Dad Bloggers: http://www.360publicrelations.com/trendletter_0709_web.htm#daddy. It was fun writing about something a little different and the dad bloggers I interviewed were fantastic. Make sure you take a moment to visit their sites (after reading my article, of course).

Then, I was asked to speak on a panel at Blogalicious this fall. I am thankful for the opportunity to attend the conference, since I didn’t think I’d be able to.

Overall, I have a bunch of things in the works and I know I’m going to have a fun, busy and rewarding fall. It’s nice to have so many things lined up rather than waiting for the next big thing to happen. I was talking a bit about the “tipping point” awhile back. I was saying that I felt like I’ve been putting a foundation in place and that, at some point, I was going to cross a threshold and things were going to start happening quickly. It’s like the slow incline on a big roller coaster… you wait and wait as you creep up the hill and then you hit the top and suddenly you’re zipping downhill and around hairpin turns. It’s a thrilling time and everything is just as I would like it to be!

Christy @ 9:25 am
Filed under: Me