Why “MoreThanMommy.com?” Here’s the thing. I never really dreamed about being a wife and mother. I assumed I would get married and have kids (sort of like I just assumed I’d go to college after high school, but that’s another story), but I wasn’t overly passionate about it. I had friends who couldn’t wait to get married and start a family, but I had other things on my mind and figured it would happen when the time was right. I’m not going to launch into the long story of my 20’s, but suffice to say that it didn’t happen. I honestly wasn’t even sure I wanted to have kids at all. What did happen was that I turned 30, found myself single, living with roommates I couldn’t stand in a rented apartment, with a job that bored me and that I didn’t believe in and not really doing anything particularly interesting with my life. In June of 2001, my mediocre life started to unravel and then weave itself back together.
It started when I was “laid off” from the job that made my day-to-day life drudgery. “Laid off” in this case is a euphemism developed by my former employer to keep my bi-racial self from suing them. I took my severance package and never looked back. The next day I mailed off my resume and cover letter to my “ideal” job that I had discovered just a few days before. Long story, but in the end I landed the job I would hold for the next four years as my life continued to evolve at a rapid pace. I’m sure I’ll write more about those adventures at some point, but among other things, this position allowed me to travel throughout the United States, as well as the Asia-Pacific area (including the Philippines, China, Taiwan, Australia, and New Zealand). And all the while I was working with kids and having a lot of fun doing it.
We all remember what took place that September and the events of 9/11 changed us all forever. One small result, I believe, was a reminder that life is too short and fragile to wait. I wouldn’t be surprised to see that the use of dating services/online dating, and the number of marriages and children born had increased significantly in the few years following. I, for one, was ready to let go of the past and forge ahead. This meant finally letting go of my college love: a guy who had been drifting in and out of my life for years. He met someone new, and I started looking for someone new myself.
I met an amazing guy online (Yahoo Personals, if you must know) in the winter of 2001, fell in love, and in January of 2004, was engaged to be married. We got married on October 3, 2004, bought a new house in November of the same year (I missed the closing because I was in Australia for work) and were pregnant by the end of February 2005. Suddenly I had an entirely new identity from the one I had known for the previous 30+ years. To be honest, it freaked me out a bit. I had always been the free spirit in my familyâ€¦ the traveler, the explorer, the nomad. I went though a series of life-changing experiences, and they made meâ€¦. Normal. Ack!
Back to the original question; why “More Than Mommy?” My sister told me a story the other day that kind of sums it up. She overheard her oldest child (a precocious 5-year old) telling her younger sister (a precocious 3-year-old), “When mom was younger, her name was Sandra.” And there it is. To your children, you aren’t a person with interests, dreams, and experiences. You’re Mommy. And to them that’s everything. But the reality for many of us is that that isn’t everything. Sure, we all know moms who are no longer able to discuss anything other than poopy diapers, pediatrician appointments, and the cutest little things their kids say and do. But there are those of us with careers, talents, friends, aspirations, political views, and… names.
So, Hi. I’m Mommy, aka Christy. And when I needed some help choosing a name for my site, I called on this very same sister. She said, “You’re not just a mom. You’re other things too, and you need a name that will reflect that.” She was right, of course, so here we are.
Once again, welcome!