Countdown to 40

In Which I Turn 39, a.k.a. Countdown to 40

Today is my birthday. I know a lot of people prefer to ignore birthdays, especially once they pass infamous number 29, but I believe that as adults we only have one day a year that’s special just for us. Now that I’m a mom, the kids come first. Well, usually. Anyway, I think birthdays should be magical for kids and adults alike. To be completely honest, I believe in birthday week. And why not? Life is short. Let’s celebrate!

This year is a bit different. I’m turning 39, which feels a bit traumatic to me. It’s silly, really, but I went through the same thing when I turned 29. I was so freaked out about the idea of turning 30 that I decided to just sort of force the issue. If I imagined that I was already 30, it wouldn’t be so bad when the time came around, right? I was so convincing (to myself) that I got it into my head that I was already 30. I’ve been screwed up ever since. I’m not going to do that again – I can’t afford to lose two years due to arbitrary birthday stress – so I’ve decided to try something else instead.

For some reason 40 seems to me to be the beginning of the end. Like my life is half (if not more) over. But I’ve decided that if I can convince myself I’m 30 when I’m only 29, I can change my perspective. I’m going with the glass half full ideology. With that in mind, 40 is simply the beginning of the rest of my life. And it’s a life without learning how to ride a bike, puberty and first heartbreak. Sounds like it has promise, right?

So. What to do over the next year while I look forward to all that 40+ has to offer? I’m going to practice living more mindfully. I’m happy about where I am in my life. I have done some amazing things with my time so far and I’m looking forward to another 40 years of more. But I want to make it a point to do something mindful each and every day. It could be small, like reflecting on a special experience or getting in touch with an old friend, or it could be more life-changing, but I want to get in the habit of paying attention and making deliberate choices. And I think I may just blog the journey…

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